Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
