oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
