I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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