I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
