yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize