32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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