weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
