Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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