How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
