My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
