Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
