I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
