whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize