ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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