Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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