every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
