OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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