Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
