I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
