it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
