I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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