Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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