Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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