kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im holly from the hills drunk
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
