i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
