Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize