No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I cut my penus on the lid.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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