Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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