That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
