you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
