I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
