Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
