Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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