He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
