uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize