I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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