Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
