If i could tip my vagina, i would.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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