he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
