I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
