drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
