please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You've changed since you got that strap on
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