I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
