Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
