I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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