I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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