i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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