No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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