Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
