I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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