3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
