Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
