spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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