I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
