you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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