tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My ass is underappreciated
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
