it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
