i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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