In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We have so much sex to catch up on
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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