put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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