Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize