Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
