Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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