Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
