I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
nutella sex= disaster
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
